Question:
When I was about 7 years old I had a bedwetting problem and my mother took me to a hypnotist. I only remember going once or twice, but I clearly remember him using some kind of contraption with flashing lights. Whatever he did, it worked immediately and the problem never came back.
Now my son has developed severe agoraphobia. Otherwise he’s completely normal. I took him to a local hypnotherapist who seemed legitimate, but she only used talking, no devices or anything like what I remember. My son never felt hypnotised and the whole thing felt like a waste of time and money.
I’m convinced hypnotherapy can work for him and could help much faster than years of talking therapy, but I’m struggling to find the right person. Are these “contraptions” important, or has hypnotherapy changed? Could my expectations be part of the problem? I’m based near Leeds in the UK and would appreciate some guidance.
Answer:
The use of ‘contraptions’ is highly unusual. Although they can sometimes be used as convincers, it’s quite possible, given how much time has passed, from your childhood to now raising a child yourself, that the memory evolved or became embellished over time. And once created, fabricated memories and real memories are indistinguishable from one another. Our memories are highly malleable, especially at that age. It’s possible that seeing something similar in an old TV show or in a film, where hypnosis is rarely portrayed accurately, became incorporated into your recollection of what happened. Just as stage hypnosis gives a distorted view of trance, childhood recollections, especially those shaped by media, can colour how we ‘remember’ clinical experiences.
On the topic of how hypnosis is presented in TV and film: what people expect it to feel like is rarely what it actually feels like. In real-world clinical hypnosis, you don’t become a mindless drone, just waiting to do whatever you are commanded to do. It’s like a dance, the hypnotherapist leads, but it’s up to the hypnotee to follow, or to do something completely different if they so desire.
Although hypnotherapy can have fantastic results working with agoraphobia, the good work this hypnotherapist put in may be undone (fully or partially) if your son picks up on your disappointment with the session not being what you expected it to be.
Did you discuss your expectations with the hypnotherapist? What did they say? I assure you, hypnotherapy by talking alone is very much the norm, and can work wonders, for this and a myriad of other issues. Trust the process, and allow the hypnotherapist to work in the way they deem most effective. With consistency and openness, I have no doubt a successful outcome could come much sooner than expected.
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